Sunday, November 7, 2010

Anger

Anger

Anger arises from two sources: fear and frustration. People become angry when they are afraid, and they become angry
when they do not get what they want.

Anger can be a positive and negative emotion. The positive and negative uses of anger depend upon what we are afraid of and what it is that we have been prevented from getting. Even when anger is justified, though, it is a dangerous emotion
because it can make us act in ways that are wrong. For this reason, more than any other emotion, anger calls for
introspection.

When our fears are rational, anger helps us to summon the courage to face what threatens us. Natural catastrophes, wars,
or even the mandane challenges of daily life may be frightening, but we steel ourselves to do our duty in part by channeling
the energy of our fears and anger.

However, when our fears are irrational, anger motivate us to act unfairly, intolerantly, even cruely. We say things and do
things that should shame us. Racial segregation, the torture of prisoners, the deportation of illegal immigrants and even
wars are sometimes undertaken because we have the unfounded belief that we will be harmed unless we separate from
or strike out at or remove or destroy the people who frighten us.

Anger may also result when we witness an injustice, and in that case it takes the form of righteousness. The anti-slavery
movement, anti-war groups, civil rights demonstrations, and anti-abortion organizations all draw upon the anger people
feel over what they perceive as social injustice. On the personal level, we naturally feel angry when a bully picks on a
weaker person or when a boss or a police officer abuses someone under his or her control. We desire justice, and we
become angry when it is denied. However, in our righteousness, it is easy to go too far. Not evey social injustice is
comparable to Hitler and the Holocaust, and not every personal injustice deserves punishment or even a scolding.

More common than righteous anger, however, are situations where we become angry because we don't get something
we think we are entitled to. When a boyfriend or girlfriend leaves us for someone else, when an inheritance is left to
another relative, when another person or an opposing team wins the contest or the game, our sense of loss coupled with
envy may make us jealous, ready to lash out at the people who took what we thought was ours.

......

The next time you are angry, call time out and ask yourself, "Are my feelings justified, or am I just irrationally afraid
or unreasonably disappointed? And even if my anger is justified, am I about to overreact?"

p105-106

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